The Walls Fell Down    

The Marbles  (original) - Graham Bonnett 

   = I don't know 

 The Marbles  (original) - Graham Bonnett + Craig Boardman ( Easter Gardener ) = The 'Three for All'

" Only One Woman . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  'Billy Beethoven' ) 

Despite rumours Craig Boardman is not now going to be recording a charity album with Carol Voderman & Ronnie James Dio. For The Ex Embezzlers & Lone Shark (Eels) fund .

Tracks could have included .. Cover versions of 

1) Beatles---- Money ..

2) Queen----- Fat Bottom Girls 

3) Heart ----Alone 

4 ) Jackson Browne ---- Call It A Loan 

5 ) Europe ----- Final Countdown 

6) Gram Parsons ---- Sin City 

7) Pink Floyd ---- Money ..

8) AC/DC ------ Down Payment Blues

9) Lieutenant Pigeon ----- Mouldy old dough

10) The Kinks ---- Dead End Street 

(©  Hebrew Half's Heckle ) 

Reuniting the original Van Halen line-up is just a matter of time, according to David Lee Roth. "I talked to the drummer [Alex Van Halen] about a week ago," the band's former lead singer tells the Pittsburgh Tribune Review. "And I think, eventually, the inevitable will happen."

So what about a reunion of the original D.L.R band without D.L.R ?

D . L . Roth Band - D . L . Roth + Craig Boardman ( Ravid Dee Loth) ?

" Yankee Rose is about Satanism , I'm not " Boardie 

(©  Perfect Timing ) 

28 th

Pavement's Stephen Malkmus has admitted that the seminal US rockers are currently "resting in peace" as he launches a solo career.

Pavement -  Stephen Malkmus  =  A + B = C

A= Pavement NO MORE

B= Stephen Malkmus Solo projects 

But what if 

Pavement -  Stephen Malkmus + Craig Boardman  =  A + B = C

A= Pavement + Craig Boardman

B= Stephen Malkmus Solo projects 

Who The Fuck Is Stephen Malkmus ?

(©  Newark Wilder ) 

'Up Around The Bend'  ? 

Hanoi Rocks are  currently Michael Monroe - Andy McCoy - Conny Bloom- Andy "A.C." Christell - Lacu

Hanoi Rocks... THE RAZZLE YEARS (1982-1984) Michael Monroe- Andy McCoy  - Nasty Suicide - Sam Yaffa - Razzle 

Hanoi Rocks... THE Gyp YEARS (1981-1982) Michael Monroe - Andy McCoy  - Nasty Suicide - Sam Yaffa - GYP CASINO

Hanoi Rocks... THE Chimes idea (1985) Michael Monroe - Andy McCoy  - Nasty Suicide - Sam Yaffa - Terry Chimes

Tickets for theow

But could we see The Rampart  Boulder Trio play Hanoi Rocks ? Craig Boardman ( ) - Nasty Suicide - Sam Yaffa

" Les Miserables 

 "  Boardie ? 

(©  Jerusalem  Cherry Bomber ) 

 Camp Citing  ?    

The Original The Almighty separated from Ricky Warwick ?

Boardman's mate Jez (Formerly of Jez & Helen {Now of Chock & Helen }Friar Tucks {Now O'Donoghue's} ) Wakefield  loves them

The Almighty (original) -  Ricky Warwick   =  Void / Other Ricky Warwick ideas 

 The Almighty  ( original) - Ricky Warwick  + Craig Boardman (Wicky Rarwick  ) =  HE WHEY   

"  "We seem to appear to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, as almost THE ALMIGHTY  again , but our name is HE WHAY  not YAHWEH . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( © Gentry Gentlemen's Goading Gilda ) 

26 th

 Pack it in  ?    

The Original Wolfsbane divorced from Blaze Bailey ?

Boardman loves 

Wolfsbane (original) -  Blaze Bailey  =  Void / Other Blaze Bailey  projects like Blaze Bailey as Bruce Dickinson temporary  Lookalikee in Iron Maiden & Blaze 

 Wolfsbane  ( original) - Blaze Bailey + Craig Boardman (Tam Lin ) = Shape Shifters ~ Shimmers

"  disambiguation ?  . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( © Beowulf and Bödvar Bjarki  Berserker ) 

Richard Ashcroft . Patsy Palmer . Craig Boardman .  Davina McCall

The ( UK ) Casting of a variation of the US sitcom Will & Grace called Wirl & Grill  

Who says ?

( © Pink  Ping-Pong  Player) 

24 th

Mel C confirmed to CUBBY Newshound there would be NO Spice Girls reunion. Lizo cornered the singer at the Brits and she let slip:
"There's not going to be any Spice Girls reunion - that's definite."
The Spice Girls all met up at Victoria Beckham's house  for their first get-together for five years. It sparked rumours they might reform. But Mel C said no way. But she did say she really enjoyed meeting up with the other girls and it was a lot of fun. And she refused to comment about what Posh Spice Victoria Beckham thought about hubby David Beckham's eye injury. She insisted that it was something private between them.

So Could they still tour as the Spice Girls without Mel C ,They did without Ginger.

What if 

Spice Girls  (original) -  Mel C   =  Void / Other Mel C   projects 

 Spice Girls (original) - Mel C   + Craig Boardman (Clem  ) = Despise Girls  or Even Spice  Guy & Girls

" I tell WHAT I'd really love it if The Spice Girls did not reform .. I'd really love . Who in their right wants to Ziggy Zigzag.. ?  . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  Forever Frolicking Fancier ) 

 I am Superman ?    

The Original Modern Lovers divorced from Jonathan Richmond ?

Boardman with an unkempt  bridal passion 

Modern Lovers (original) -  Jonathan Richmond   =  Void / Other Jonathan Richmond  projects 

 Modern Lovers (original) - Jonathan Richmond  + Craig Boardman (Jonathan Kent ) = Modem Lavers

" Roadrunner once yes but Roadrunner twice ... I'm not that in love with Paul Ratcliffe or their Mark  ?  . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  Pablo Picasso's Ponchos Pamphlet   ) 

22 nd

  'Hooray For Everything'    

Former Kenickie front woman and TV presenter, Lauren Laverne now brings her own pleasure to things .  So what of Kenickie ?

Boardman yearning away 

Kenickie (original) -  Lauren Laverne   = Void / Other Lauren Laverne   projects 

 Kenickie (original) - Lauren Laverne   + Craig Boardman (Laurne Laveren  ) = 'Rough Boys and Modern Girls'

" Orange Play List ... ?  . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  The Get Inn ) 

  Shoot The Messenger   

Welsh pop group Catatonia  split up after 10 years together   it was  confirmed in 2001.Cerys prefers to do it on ar owen..

Yes you gusted it 

Catatonia (original) -  Cerys Matthews  = Void / Other Cerys Matthews  projects 

 Catatonia (original) - Cerys Matthews  + Craig Boardman (Merys Catthews  ) = New Mercurial Heights

" Taffs . R .Fellow  Celts ..But ?  . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  The Village Idiot ) 

20th

  A True Star    

Utopia (original) - Todd Rundgren

   = Void / Other Todd Rundgren projects 

 Utopia (original) - Todd Rundgren + Craig Boardman (Dodd Runtgren ) = Dystopia and Myopia

" Utopia  reform ,Without Todd Heaven help us... it's not my idea of paradise . "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  Iceberg-Imager ) 

Dr Feelgood are  currently Kevin Morris - Phil Mitchell - Robert Kane - Steve Walwyn

Dr Feelgood... THE WILKO YEARS (1972-1977) Lee Brilleaux - Wilko Johnson - John 'Big Figure' Martin - John B. 'Sparko' Sparks

Tickets for the 13th Lee Brilleaux Memorial on Fri. May 5th, 2006 are available now

But could we see  I'm A Man ... THE BILKO YEARS (1972-1977 slight return 2007  pseudo reunion tour ? ) Craig Boardman (Le Bilkeaux ) - Wilko Johnson - John 'Big Figure' Martin - John B. 'Sparko' Sparks ?

" Man can't live on Milk & Alcohol alone or with the confines of a collective autonomy .Wilko was not  even around the first time for the first round of Milk & Alcohol "   

(© Sneakin' Suspicion) 

18th

Country Joe McDonald ...One More Year of Good Times on his own .... What of his fish ...

After rumours of them backing Fish ( Ex Marillion), then Walter Trout ,Then David Soul 

Country Joe McDonald - His Fish =  Country Joe McDonald solo = fish out of water 

Craig Boardman ( Rustic Lee Boardman ) + Country Joe McDonald 's His Fish - Country Joe McDonald =  Rustic Lee Boardman 's Surplus Production

" There's always a catch , I WANTED TO BE CALLED Captain Haddock, ........Rustic Lee Boardman ?"  ...Boardie 

(© Instantaneous Rate Of Fishing Mortality) 

 With Garbage on a hiatus of undetermined length, front woman Shirley Manson has begun work on her first solo album.

Could rumours start about the rest of the boys recycling Garbage  with Craig Boardman ( Charlie Valentine ) 

" We thought it could special , But it's just Plain DUMB " CB

(© Swinish Multitude) 

16th

A reunion of ex-patriots of the Red Shed Labour Club Of Wakefield's French language  Barbershop-Trip Hop Rutles cover band " Les Rut "  has been re-postponed  from the original non event .

Dick ( Alan Bates ) , Pasty ( Kevin Gameson) , Stag ( Keith Barrett ) & Boardie ( Craig Boardman Himself) were rumoured to reiterate the  original idea of the  much touted plans from the non event to reform ideas that could have suggested at the original non meeting to form the Red Shed Labour Club Of Wakefield's French language  Barbershop-Trip Hop Rutles cover band.

 (© Toutes les choses doivent passer) 

What with Dr Ramsden returning to Coronation Street  with a new wife .

It could have been implied that there was going to be Joey ( Friends )  style Spin Off for Ex WIFE Charlie ( Played by Clare McGlinn) Called  " Charlie & Wes " with  possible cameo's in the great soap itself with her new possible partner WES. 

Could she possibly found love with Wes L Garlic (possibly played by Craig Boardman )or was she still pining for Matt ?

" Real life is a bit like fiction , The two can become blurred , Or one appears or seems to  become the other or visa-versa , People may reinvent or delete their pasts " Boardman 

(© Metaphysical Cardigan Terrace) 

14th

 Craig Boardman as cancelled any plans to tour his Ken Dodd tribute show Ken Dodge 

" People turning may think , Ken Dodge is interested in the application of behavioural science research to issues in public policy that affect children and families. But all I want is some dosh " Boardman

( © Protuberant Pre Pubescent   Pageant  Puppeteer )

Dire (from left) Loz Colbert, Mark Gardener, Craig Boardman (Convenient Ringer)  and Steve Queralt.

What with Andy Bell staring in the all new Oasis Indie All EX-Stars ,Could the rest of Ride be tempted to another go with Craig Boardman (Convenient Ringer) as Dire ?

 Loz Colbert, Mark Gardener,  Steve Queralt  + Andy Bell = Ride

Loz Colbert, Mark Gardener,  Steve Queralt  - Andy Bell = a + b

a) Loz Colbert, Mark Gardener,  Steve Queralt  =0

b) Andy Bell = Oasis 

a + b+ Craig Boardman (Convenient Ringer)  = Dire 

(© Jericho Tavernier) 

Craig Boardman is not going to be portraying Intelligent creationist Henry Morris.

Boardman was due to star in docu-musical The Genesis Flood.

Craig Boardman due to be Narrating The Genesis Flood , Johnny Morris style through clips of animals explaining why they are unique in their own unique manor .Intercept with a soundtrack featuring Boardman rapping cover tracks of  

 Black Sabbath  " All Moving Parts Stand Still "

Chesney Hawks " One And Only "

Zombies "God Gave Rock 'N' Roll To You"  

Zombies " Time Of The Season "

Byrds " Turn Turn Turn " 

Stephenwolf's " Born To Be Wild "

R.E.M " It's The End Of The World As We Know It "

Ozzy Osbourne "Revelation: Mother Earth"

Gene 'Be My Light Be My Guide'

with N.W.A +  Hungarian Folkster Iren Lovasz 

" I don't wish to upset Darwinist or Evolutionist " Boardman 

  (© Austin Teachers  Cross Examiner) 

 11th

 Craig Boardman , Damien Hirst  , Tracy Emin , Fergie (Black Eyed Peas) + Darren Juvie = Third Rock From The Sun ( UK )Cast ? 

Not NOW, Not NEVER .APPARENTLY . 

    ( © Interstellar Ionizer    ) 

              10th

                                 SETTING ME UP 

With Mark Knofler going solo , could the rest of the original Dire Straits be tempted by Craig Boardman as a replacement ?

Mark Knofler (guitar and vocals), his brother  Dave  Knofler (guitar),  John Isley (bass) and Rick Withers (drums), = Original Dire Straits 

Mark Knofler (guitar and vocals) -   Dave  Knofler (guitar),  John Isley (bass) and Rick Withers (drums) = Mark Knofler +Other Chums as Dire Straits + Mark Knofler 's Solo Projects Including film soundtracks.

Dave  Knofler (guitar),  John Isley (bass) and Rick Withers (drums) -Mark Knofler (guitar and vocals)= Nothing 

Dave  Knofler (guitar),  John Isley (bass) and Rick Withers (drums) + Craig Boardman ( Knork Mafler ) =  Dirus  Stringere

Please Sir  2006 ?    Please Sir ...We Want More ? 

Roger McGough  , Vernon Kay , Vic Reeves ,  Craig Boardman , GMTV'S own Richard Arnold 

, Leo Sayer & GMTV'S Tina Baker ?

" Talk a bart  Senile Detention ?" 

( ©   Naughty Underage Teenager ?  ) 

                                               8th

" Who in 2006 ? , would  ? want ? to see ? a Slovenia style Big Black tribute act ?

Boardman ( Steeve Albino )

( ©   sarcastic sardine  ) 

Dave Hill originally played with drummer  Don Powell  in a band called The Vendors. The Vendors changed their name to The N'Betweens, met bass player  Jimmy Lea and singer  Noddy Holder , where after Slade was born.

Money was tight when the young Hill started playing, and right handed guitars were much cheaper than left handed ones, so even though Hill was left handed he played and still plays guitar right handed. Hill's best known guitar was the  John Birch SUPERYOB that was built in  1973. It became a vital part of Hill's image, just like his huge platform boots, his broad grin, the fringes and the outrageous costumes.

Hill was known as the class clown of the band, and his bizarre costumes and antics led to some friction with the more serious Lea. He also did not do as well financially from Slade as Lea and Holder, who were the principal songwriters, and therefore commanded more royalties.

In 1989 Dave Hill and Noddy Holder put out a single Crying in the rain / Wild nites' on the Mooncrest label under the group name "Blessings In Disguise". The following year,  1990, Hill followed it up with a further Blessings In Disguise single - which did not feature Holder at all.

Slade finally split up in  1991, but Dave Hill decided to carry the group on as Slade II. Don Powell and singer   Steve Whalley joined him, among others and they still tour Europe. The band has released the album "Keep on Rockin'", which has also been re-packaged as "Superyob", and also as "Cum On Let's Party!"

In 1997 the name of Slade II was shortened back to Slade

In 2006 There has been speculation that Noddy Holder & Jimmy Lea ,Would be Joined by Craig Boardman ( Have Dill ) & Mark Radcliffe ( Pun Dowell ) would forming their own Slade called Deals   .

" Noddy's Nuts , nuf sed " Boardie 

( ©   Papa Roach daddy cool cats litter bug   ) 

                             6th

Muffin the Mule with Boardie a remake of the classic TV show " Muffin The Mule " was rumoured for a late night slot on More 4 .

" 

Muffin the Mule with Boardie 
Here comes Muffin with Boardie , Muffin the Mule. with Boardie 
Dear old Muffin with Boardie , playing the fool with Boardie .
Here comes Muffin ,with Boardie  everybody sing with Boardie .
Here comes Muffin the Mule with Boardie .

After all that I felt a a little hoarse , Which left more than a sour taste in my mouth  , Bestie , George Best would never have stooped this low  "

( ©   Gallop-Pole Gazette  ) 

Despite Craig Boardman's alleged offer to help out Monster Magnet  . Where  forced to cancel the remaining dates on their sell-out UK tour as Monster Magnet Mainman Dave Wyndorf was  Hospitalized For Drug Overdose.

The band were due to play in Leeds UK  but after medical advice, they decided to call off the show. Isaac Hunt , the band's manager, said, " Boardman would have been an ideal replacement for Dave Wyndorf ,He could even ask cousin Nidge for hair tips , But the boys did n't  like Boaride's comedy ad-libs during rehearsals"

( ©   Animal Attraction Annual  ) 

                                4th

CANDIDA DOYLE , MARK WEBBER,NICK BANKS + STEVE MACKEY + JARVIS COCKER = PULP

CANDIDA DOYLE , MARK WEBBER,NICK BANKS + STEVE MACKEY - JARVIS COCKER = JARVIS COCKER SOLO +

CANDIDA DOYLE , MARK WEBBER,NICK BANKS + STEVE MACKEY =  SAT IDLE

CANDIDA DOYLE , MARK WEBBER,NICK BANKS + STEVE MACKEY + CRAIG BOARDMAN ( JARVER COCKIS  ) = PLUP  ( Basically still SAT IDLE ) 

" Disco 2000 , it's 2006 already ? " Boardman 

( ©   Sheffield Stealer  ) 

Silverhead (original) - Michael des Barres  = 

   Void / Other Michael des Barres projects 

Silverhead (original) - Michael des Barres+ Craig Boardman (Mickey Des Barnes ) = Argentums Abercio

" Wham Bam , But No Thank You Mam   "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

( ©  Elementary Elements Examiner ) 

2nd

Sigue Sigue Sputnik (original) - Tony James  = 

   Sigue Sigue Sputnik/Other Tony James projects like Silicon/Carbon 

Sigue Sigue Sputnik (original) - Tony James + Craig Boardman (Zemlyi Play )= Segue Segue Sputnik

" Wham Bam , But No Thank You Mam   "

Craig Boardman supposedly 

We report on the simultaneous formation of silicon and carbon nanostructures in an inductively coupled plasma (ICP) system. ICP systems have unique scaling characteristics which enable very large area uniformity, making them potentially suitable for large volume production of nanotubes and nanostructures. Samples were prepared by forming a 10-20 nm thick Fe layer on a p-type (100) silicon substrate using laser ablation. Results over time periods of 1, 3, and 5 hours indicate that, as the Fe catalyst layer was broken up into islands by the action of the plasma, it served as a nano-mask for the etching of silicon, as well as the nucleation site for the growth of carbon nanostructures via the liquid-metal-solid (LMS) growth mechanism.

The resulting silicon and carbon nanostructures were characterized using SEM, TEM with selected area diffraction (SAD), HR-TEM, and by micro-Raman and surface enhanced Raman spectroscopy (SERS). Multiwalled carbon nanostructures of approximate inner diameters 30-60 nm, outer diameters 90-140 nm, and micron-scale lengths were grown during the 1, 3, and 5-hour depositions. Silicon nanostructures of approximate lengths 0.4-1.0 µm, with base widths 10-100 nm, which tapered to a roughly 10 nm point at the tops, were formed, corresponding to the 1, 3, and 5 hour reactor times. Based on selected area diffraction, these were single crystal silicon nanostructures with [100] orientation along the long axis. The observed Si structures were consistent with formation by a controlled etching mechanism of the (100) silicon substrate. An Fe catalyst island roughly 10 nm in diameter was frequently observed at the pointed tip of the silicon nanostructure and an interface between the carbon and silicon nanostructures via an Fe catalyst island at the pointed tip of the silicon nanostructure was sometimes observed. The potential of this method for large-scale controlled production of silicon-carbon nanotube heterostructures, without the requirement of a common catalyst for both silicon and carbon¹, is explored.

( ©  Soviet Spaced Satellite)

1st

We're launching a nationwide search to find REGULARS CRAIG BOARDMAN + URI GELLAR (others may include Jimmy Carr , Paul Hendy , Rory McGrath , Bill Bailey , Roy Keane , Jonathan Ross + Ken Dodd ) a new Men Matter Panellist   to present on the show with us!

So if you're outspoken, opinionated, dynamic and up for a laugh then you could be the one we're looking for.

All you need to do is send a VHS or DVD telling us in 15 seconds why you would be the perfect Men Matter Panellist, along with a letter telling us all about yourself and what issues you feel strongly on to:
 
Men Matter Panellist
PO BOX 56317
London
SE1 9TJ

Entries close 1^st April 2007

The winner will get the chance to present on the show so Good luck!

For terms and conditions click here

                 Boardman swoop 

JESUS ....Defender  Craig Boardman  has made a surprise return to former club Ossett Town  on a free transfer.

The 35-year-old, who has joined for the rest of the season, made his debut for the Reds as an 28-year-old in 1999."He's got a wealth of experience and gives us more defending options. He's different to the other defenders we have," said Reds boss Steve Kittrick. "We have signed a player with so much passion for this football club and I think he will act as an example to every player here in how much he loves Ossett Town .

"I'm not sure I've ever seen a player quite so happy to be joining a club before."He hasn't been signed because he loves the club; he's been signed because he's one of the best DEFENDERS ever to play in the defenders  and he can defender goals for us right now."We have signed a player with a passion and a heart for this club that no amount of money can buy. We are close to a very high level right now but with CRAIG BOARDMAN we can go even higher."

Boardman said he was delighted to be given the chance to return Ingfield.

"Since I have left, deep down I have been Kicking myself  ,I have always wanted to come back and it has been a long time but I'm glad to say I'm back now," said Boardman ."Leaving was probably one of my biggest regrets I have had in football."I'm chuffed to bits. I mean, I can't really believe it's happened again so I'm Ecstatic to be honest."

                       (  ©  Chickenley Chicken Chomper )